Suggestions to be grandparents and not die trying

July 26, 2023, another year in which we celebrate Grandparents' Day!

In the article “Grandparents and their role in the family” we talked about the central place they occupy in the family, the advantages of growing up with this figure, the benefits that grandparents obtain by actively participating in the lives of grandchildren, and how to care for and respect these essential members. You can read the full article at the link https://www. educamosenfamilia.com/post/grandparents-role-in-the-family

This article is addressed to you, our dear grandparents. For those of you who are new or who are already lucky enough to have a grandchild, you would like to know How to be grandparents and not die trying?

Becoming a grandparent can force you to learn it at an advanced age and can involve many demands and responsibilities.

Here are some suggestions that can help you in this area:

• If you are already grandparents, you must learn to combine your generosity and your desire to help with your real possibilities. Know how to set limits, and be consistent with the help you are willing to give. Offer your support in a way that your needs as a person are respected, on a schedule that is realistic and feasible for you, without giving up your own needs as a person and as a couple.

• Being a grandfather is not the same as being a father, and the relationship with grandchildren will not be the same as with children. You should not supplant parents in the education of their children, you must respect the parents' criteria and their own philosophy when undertaking this task. Which does not prevent you from being able to advise them and give them your advice with respect and delicacy.

• Grandparents can play a very important role as transmitters of moral values, by having more time to listen, better communication and more experience and maturity. The lower incidence of conflicts and confrontations between grandparents and grandchildren helps establish a relationship of trust that facilitates dialogue and communication. And a relationship of trust allows the messages to reach your interlocutor more clearly, accept them and assimilate them better.

Mantén una buena relación con los nietos, sé un buen modelo para ellos, digno de respeto y admiración y resultarás más convincente en la transmisión de valores

• Do everything possible to provide your grandchildren with an environment of healthy austerity. A common problem today is excessive gifts and goods materials that children live with.We understand that it can be very rewarding for you to shower them with gifts. But you're doing them a disservice. An austere education is essential to teach them to value things and fight for them, helping them develop the muscle of effort and self-discipline. If you really want to help them, offer parents, within your means, financial support for activities that are usually expensive, that not all parents have the means to pay for and that are a fabulous complement to the education of their grandchildren: language classes, learning sports, music, stays abroad, attending camps, medical care and a long etcetera.

• Spend time talking with them and listening to them, knowing how they think and feel.

• Learn to say no to grandchildren, explaining the reasons, but remaining firm. You will be able to increase respect for yourself and you will be helping them tolerate frustration, an essential requirement to mature and grow in this society.

Becoming a grandparent means acquiring a new role, a new relationship with your children and with your newly arrived grandchild. "No one is born knowing"

• You can also be an important role model for them, not just their parents. Keep this in mind to moderate and redirect your emotional reactions and behavior in difficult situations if they are present.

• Do not criticize or speak ill of your grandchildren about their parents. Children are lenient with parents and will lose trust in you.

• Treat all grandchildren equally, do not make differences or express your favoritism. Treat each one as a special and unique being. If it is within your means, dedicate time to each one separately.

• Always respect the opinion of your children, as well as that of your sons and daughters-in-law. If you have to agree with someone, try to support them. the latter.

• Show your grandchildren that your relationship with them is one of affection, support, and understanding, and make it clear that your role is not that of intermediary between them and their parents, except in exceptional cases.

• Share with your grandchildren the cultural background you have, which can be fun, enriching and educational for them and above all as an alternative to television: games board games and cards, songs for the little ones, traditional games: puppetry, theater, crafts, DIY, photos and family stories.

• Teach them to enjoy and grow with their free time by sharing cultural activities with them: museums and exhibitions (nowadays most museums have activities for small children), readings, excursions. Try to do things with them that they can remember throughout their lives and can teach them enriching habits.

• Remember that, generally, you are not the only grandparent, that there are three others and that all of them are important to your grandchild. Respect the time they spend with others and do not compete with them in affection or gifts.

When the grandchildren arrive, your houses can once again be filled with life and joy with the contributions of the little ones. You can make your children come home frequently if you are willing to help them and enjoy the new generation.

Happy Day!